Ask a Recruiter: On Takesies Backsies

I took the job, but now I'm having second thoughts--how do I get out of it without destroying my relationship with the recruiter?

My short answer is: follow the golden rule and put yourself in the recruiter's shoes.

S/he may never let on, but the recruiter that got you your last job came to work every day between your signed offer letter and your start date just a little bit uneasy.  We're superstitious--like baseball players.  In our office, we don't put the placement on the board until we're sure it's going through because we don't want to jinx it, because every recruiter has at least one nightmare story about the candidate who didn't show up on her first day or the guy who swore up and down he'd never accept a counteroffer (obviously, he did). 

Here's the thing.  Sure, we love our commission checks--we're recruiters, after all--but we do what we do at least in part because we recognize the enormous impact a job change has on a candidate's life.  We go into this knowing they're not all going to work out the way we'd like.  The point is that they work out the way you'd like and it's our job to pay attention and do the best we can to make that happen.  But when it doesn't, when something, anything, casts doubt or comes between you and that start date, it's time to pick up the phone and call your recruiter.  If you respect us enough to let us know what's going on as soon as possible, we can respect your decision--whatever the outcome may be.  We're grown ups; we can handle it.  Furthermore, we can plan appropriately for it.  If we know there's a chance, however remote, that you aren't going to be able to move forward we have time to get back in touch with that number two candidate or make some calls to qualify a solid backup in time to save the deal and preserve our relationship with the client.